I don't talk much lately.
As time goes by, I get tired of forcing myself to talk, to meet people and to communicate. I just go with the flow.
Kenapalah gigih sangat. Bukan orang kisah pun. Kesian dekat diri sendiri kadang kadang. All the efforts were wasted just like that.
Bukanlah aku tak ada perancangan nak buat itu nak buat ini. Cumanya aku selesa mengikut arus. Pun begitu aku tak teragak-agak melawan arus jika keadaan memerlukan.
I stopped expecting too much from people becauses I don't want to get hurt. Maybe sometimes we just need to accept the truth and just move forward.
I stopped texting first. I stopped calling first. I stopped trying to reach out first. Because you know, I think I've had enough already.
Fix yourself, dear self. Nobody is going to help you to get whatever you want in life. Fix your attitude. Do better. Be better. Be wiser.
Nobody knows the pain. One day you will going through the same thing like others. And you will realize that life is going to hit you hard.
Tired of wondering when I will be enough for those ppl that I care about. I am just done trying to offer a help. I am the one who needs help.
Almost. It's a big word for me. I feel it everywhere.
Almost home. Almost happy. Almost changed. Almost, but not quite. Not yet. Soon, maybe.
Even the stars watch you in awe, she grabs my hand. "Your love is worshipped by the universe, why can't that be enough?" I pull my hands away from her. "I don't want the universe to worship my love," she wait for me to continue. "I just want you to love me."
For some reason, I've really been loving late night "alone" time. Before I sleep, I like to play some sudoku games, listen to some random songs that I find on YouTube, and chill. It helps with scenes I'm going to write-sometimes it's just nice.
Without my phone, just me and myself, with some beats...
I love it.
